Thursday, November 13, 2008

Opposition Overload

The problem with understanding is that it relies on perception, and perception is an individual activity with subjective results.  Unless individuals agree on the meaning of words in a particular context, it becomes virtually impossible to achieve mutual understanding. Often it seems that the result of this effort is a form of judgement leading to rejection not only of the idea put forth, but of the person stating the idea, and a subsequent prejudice toward all ideas of that nature and all people who espouse them. Welcome to the Global War on Egalitarianism.

It doesn't seem to matter what the issue is, age, race, religion, politics, morality, philosophy, etc., or just a personal taste in recreation, art, music, style, ad infinitum. There are plenty of arguments available, and multiple sides to take.

I don't mean to denigrate, or minimize the significance of anyone's point of view. I just want to say, I'm exhausted. While the neuro-hormonal rush that comes from grappling with weighty, or even less consequential matters can be exciting in the short term, eventually I just feel drained. I wonder too if this will become another addiction among many I've practiced, if it isn't curbed. Now, before anyone starts reaching for their high horse's saddle, let me bring my thoughts to a conclusion.

In the months I've spent online, joining, sometimes posting, but most often lurking in groups and fora, I've yet to find a comfort zone. I'm not sure exactly what that implies about me, or the people I've encountered. It seems that I've noticed more the tendency to object than agree, to defend than examine. Are there people who's desire for understanding transcends individual issues and prejudices? Will my own biases preclude me from recognizing, or accepting them? Am I an asshat for even thinking about this? I wish I knew.


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Hypnagogia

Cocooned by warmth in twilight of awareness,
Mixed voices probe and penetrate my mind.
As if from far away, on restless tides of air
They gather here from the span of time.

Come join us in our aeon of communion.
Abjure this steadfast solitude that binds
Tendrils of desire to a monolith of care,
And enervates the heart's desire to climb.

Too soon the chorus falls below a whisper,
Oblivion has claimed it's place in line.
Till it's diurnal means whose end I gladly share
Restore me to a finite realm that's mine.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Hidden Away

Everywhere I go I feel
the aching hearts of those
who crave escape from their
own poisonous reflection.
The thought, and then
waves of crushing guilt,
a chilling glance at
inner visions of rejection.

I am caught, I am bound,
crying out within the confines
of my self-imposed seclusion.
Like many whom I meet,
I am hesitant to offer
more than casual concern.
I preserve the sanctity
of my equivocal illusion.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Past Dance

Sometimes,
remembering
the past is like
dancing in dense fog.
Straining to hear
the close,
but muffled music
made by ghosts,
spiritual vampires,
a gestalt menagerie.

Friday, May 30, 2008

A Question of Hope

Thoughts will wander far from me,
through a past, or future place.
At times so much I'll over look
the present moment's grace.
Memories may feed my soul,
or starve it till it's weak.
Dreams of what may come,
or not, in ways seductive speak.
If I could learn to apprehend
the fulness that is now,
might memories be banquets
and dreams come true somehow?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Occasional Days

The door of my heart

though never locked

may be frozen in place

on occasional days

when the dampness of tears

and rough ragged breaths

fills the stifling air.